I have never been one for writing blogs or journals much. My usual reason being "what would be the point? who would read it?". Today, though, I'm setting that aside in the hope that simply expressing this would somehow help me examine and work through some issues common with artists: lack of inspiration, and the uncertainty if what I am doing is even relevant or a true expression of myself. I have also been concerened with the lack of beauty in today's mainstream art.

Regarding the lack of inspiration, true expression: though I end up liking some drawings that have been turning out lately, it still feels like something is missing. Like a next step. I often end up wondering "how is this different or more inovative than the other stuff I've done?". When I like a drawing or painting I did, it is still unclear to me how it is related to myself. It feels as if something isn't quite coming across, or is getting lost in translation. This makes me uneasy.

Regarding today's mainstream art: I can go on all day ranting about this, but the bottom line is that I have seen better things from obscure artists right here on deviantart than in many art books and even museums. It is obvious that visual beauty is of rare importance in contemporary art, which sadens me greatly. What was riveting to me as a child about art was the way its beauty could inspire me to create and imagine. But, it seems as I, like many others, devoted myself to a craft, only to grow up and find that it has gradually removed its' most potent element from its' very definition. Art, no longer meaning an aesthetic expression of oneself. But rather, controversy and shock value. This scares me, because it makes me feel isolated from the only community I felt I belonged to. Unless there is a drastic turn around in the world of visual arts soon, I fear this sheep has lost its' heard. Though not altogether a bad thing, since I would rather go my own way than equate a work of art to a piece of shit.
I believe there's lost artists just like me out there. Those who feel the loss of beauty in visual arts and are troubled by it. Perhaps if we stuck together, we would not feel so alone.